19 November 2024

This blog was written to coincide with International Men’s Day 2024. 

This International Men’s Day, it’s as important as ever to keep talking about men’s mental health. Men are three times more likely to die by suicide[1] than women, and yet 40% of men admit they do not feel comfortable talking about their mental health[2]. Conversations are crucial in challenging stigma, combatting isolation and increasing understanding of support options. Three managers working in Hestia’s mental health services sat down to discuss their experience working in the sector and what they do to look after their own mental wellbeing.

What do you notice about men’s mental health in your day-to-day work?

LC: Hi, I’m Liam and I’m Team Manager at Hestia’s Medway Recovery House, an accommodation-based service that offers recovery-focused support for those experiencing a mental health crisis.

What we see with some of the men that come into the service is that they can take longer to begin talking about their mental health. Whilst there has been a slow reduction in stigma around men being more open with their mental health, social attitudes like ‘man up’ still exist and can be internalised. Some of the men I’ve supported feel as though admitting that they’re struggling makes them a ‘failure’ or ‘weak’, and so it’s about unlearning those attitudes and understandings of ‘masculinity’.

MB: We also see this at the South West Recovery Café, one of Hestia’s crisis services providing drop-in support for those experiencing a mental health crisis. It’s not the case for all, but some of the men that we support may not initially engage with the one-to-one support that we offer - it can take a little longer to build those relationships and they are less keen to get involved in the activities that might make them feel more vulnerable, like meditation groups or wellbeing-focused activities. So, it’s about adapting your approach to allow them to get to a place where they feel comfortable.

Our male visitors are also more likely to have issues with substances. Culturally, as a man, it is often a lot more acceptable to struggle with alcohol or drugs than it is to be seen as suffering with mental health issues. This could have developed as a coping mechanism to deal with their mental health rather than confronting it and other times they may use substances to mask their struggles.

DP: I’ve also seen this whilst managing our integrated mental health services in Kingston. Substance misuse issues can be tied to understandings of self-worth linking back to the feelings of ‘failure’ or ‘weakness’ mentioned beforehand and sometimes an avoidance of the underlying issues.

What are some of the challenges and opportunities for those working in mental health services supporting men?

MB: It’s important to keep in mind that there is a lot of value in just being with someone during a difficult period; they don’t have to be telling you their deepest, darkest secrets. Just because some individuals may not open up straight away, it doesn’t mean that they won’t further down the line.

LC: I completely agree, a person-centred and tailored approach is something that we at Hestia try to practice across our services. Everyone is different, there are some individuals who are ready to immediately talk about their mental health. However, some have their barrier higher up, making them more hesitant to do so right away. It's important to recognise these differences and allow individuals to navigate their own journey at their own pace, respecting where they are in their process.

I’ve found that men often want to keep busy and, in that case, it’s about giving them the agency to find things they want to do. Sometimes this can really surprise us, one individual I supported wanted to clean the house as he hadn’t been able to do so where he lived before. So, we gave him the time, space and independence to do that and learn about himself in the process - he then was able to talk with us and open-up a lot more.

DP: I would echo this; purpose and structure can be key in creating an environment where individuals feel empowered to start looking internally and better understand their mental health. This could be through volunteering opportunities that we can facilitate through the Hestia volunteering team or in the activities that we put on in the services.

MB: At the Recovery Café we find that the activities offer a space for people to slowly ease themselves into the service and into mental health support more generally. There is a need for these activities to be varied and for some to be facilitated by men so that there is something for everyone. Activities offer people the opportunity to spend time with one another. They provide cover, in a way, for relationships to develop and for conversations to happen that might feel too intense otherwise. Men can find it particularly difficult to admit to feeling lonely so helping to relieve isolation without naming it specifically can be really useful. Whilst our service is for short-term support, the feedback we have received on the activities is overwhelmingly positive, and there is a need more generally for social spaces in the community to help with feelings of isolation.

LC: Whilst we’re on the topic, there is also a need for a more coordinated approach to addressing substance misuse issues. As discussed previously, a lot of men present with prior addictions that need addressing before they can begin to think about their mental health. Substance misuse and mental health services need to be more linked up so that people don’t get sent between the two with no real outcomes – this could look like a dual diagnosis service or a specialist who can support with both needs.

And finally, what is one way that you look after your mental health?

DP: It’s important to find those actions we can do from day-to-day to make sure that we can maintain and improve our mental health. I try to keep fit; I enjoy long walks, and I like to cycle on the weekends – in the past year I’ve completed long distance cycles to both Oxford and Cambridge!

LC: For me it’s about prioritising good rest, good food and having hobbies that allow you to unwind and help you to switch off at home.

MB: Taking care of your mental health is personal and unique to you but, like David, the connection between physical and mental health is something that I’ve found is fundamental to my well-being, so I try to exercise when I can.

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