2 February 2026

Nyla* experienced sexual assault from a fellow police officer. Employers have a unique role to play in responding to domestic abuse and sexual violence. Hestia's Everyone's Business team works with employers to provide information, resources, and practical guidance to employees who have experienced domestic abuse and/or sexual violence. Here's her story of how Hestia supported her.  

For years I wasn’t encouraged to pursue a formal complaint against a fellow police officer for sexual assault. When I finally took my case to tribunal and won I felt so relieved and happy because it wasn’t just a win for me but for all those other women who couldn’t speak out. I had to get my truth out and my advice to anyone who is going through something similar is reach out, you will be believed. I wish now that I had made an external complaint much earlier but my experiences were minimised and I felt like it was my fault.

At the time that the assaults happened, I was working as a response officer in a great team. When David first arrived, there was just something about him that made me feel uncomfortable, he would talk about women in a derogatory way and make misogynistic jokes so I just tried to avoid him. However, one time I was paired with him on a call out to check on someone who was at risk and we ended up alone in a house together. I was writing up some notes when he came over and as he went past he slapped me on the bottom. I was so shocked and I shouted at him and told him to never touch me again. When I went back I told my teammates and one experienced detective offered to have a word but I didn’t want to take it any further. This was several years ago and at the time the culture in the police was very different – there was a feeling of ‘well why are you mentioning that’ and you didn’t feel you could speak up because you’d be labelled as difficult. The senior officer made sure I wasn’t paired up with David again and that was it. Then a while later I was on another call with quite a few officers attending and David turned up. We were all standing around in the street and David ran round behind me and slapped me on the bum in front of everyone. Some of the younger officers laughed and I didn’t feel able to say anything because we were in public. But when we were back at the station I warned him to never touch me again and a colleague backed me up.

"Even though I didn’t pursue the complaint I was constantly thinking about the assault and I felt like I had to change myself, that somehow something was wrong with me and that it was my fault."

For a while nothing else happened but then one day in the office as I was leaning over my desk typing up my reports, he came behind me, pushed me so that I fell onto my desk and started thrusting against me. For a couple of seconds I was so shocked that I didn’t have time to even process what was happening. This time there were two witnesses to what he did and they encouraged me to report it. It was clear David’s behaviour was escalating and he was becoming more blatant. So I went to see my sergeant. I’ll never forget her response – she said ‘well what do you want done about it?’. It completely minimised my experience and reinforced the idea that behaviour like this wasn’t taken seriously. In the end I just asked for him to be kept away from me.

Even though I didn’t pursue the complaint I was constantly thinking about the assault and I felt like I had to change myself, that somehow something was wrong with me and that it was my fault. I became harder, angrier and snappier. David was also still around and I was always worried about what he’d do next. One time I felt someone brush past my bum and when I looked round he was smirking at me. It was like he was saying ‘look, I can still do this to you any time I want and get away with it’. Eventually he moved department and I never saw him again. Several years went by but I never forgot about what had happened.

"From the very first time we spoke, I felt listened to, she was warm, approachable, and incredibly supportive. I immediately felt at ease – I had no idea this service even existed for police officer victims. The whole tribunal process took two years but Jas was with me every step of the way. Her support meant so much."

Then I was asked to take the lead on encouraging female officers to speak out if they experienced abuse in the workplace. I was talking to others about speaking up and yet I hadn’t pursued my complaint. I felt I had to do something even if I wasn’t believed – I just kept thinking ‘what if he’s doing this to other women?’. I spoke to my senior officer and this time I got the response I needed, she was completely shocked and took it very seriously. More importantly, she took action on my behalf and I was supported to make a statement. It was at this point that I was referred to Hestia and Jas (a sexual violence advocate) contacted me. From the very first time we spoke, I felt listened to, she was warm, approachable, and incredibly supportive. I immediately felt at ease – I had no idea this service even existed for police officer victims. The whole tribunal process took two years but Jas was with me every step of the way. Her support meant so much. When the tribunal date was changed at the last minute and my family couldn’t make it, Jas was there for me. She travelled to be with me and she completely had my back. I don’t know if I could have kept going if it wasn’t for her support.

When I won my case I was so relieved and happy. David would have been dismissed but he had already resigned. But I was just glad that I had stood up and said ‘this is who he is’ and I got my truth out.

*Name's changed to protect anonymity

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