13 January 2026

Laura* fled a chaotic relationship with her son's father after experiencing abuse. Leaving was difficult as the abuse continued but Laura received a call from Hestia that a refuge was available and being able to have that place of safety changed everything. 

When I lived with my son’s father it was a very chaotic relationship. When he was upset he would verbally abuse me and my son and at times he would shout and slap me. When my son was two years old, I moved out but eventually I went back and tried to make it work for my son. I hoped he’d changed. But things were just the same. When he was eight years old my son started to have really bad meltdowns and tantrums. One day, my son was crying and didn’t want his dad to take him to school. When he got to school, he told them that his dad had slapped him – I hadn’t realised he was also hurting my son, and I knew we had to leave.

Before when I tried to leave, my ex-partner would abuse me and say, ‘who’s going to take you, you can’t stand on your own feet. Our son will resent you if you take him away from me’. But this time I got some help and got ready to leave. The day I got the call from Hestia about the refuge place everything moved so quickly. I picked my son up from school and just took one bag which had a few clothes and our passports – I didn’t care about anything else. My son took a few of his toys and that was it – we got in a taxi and left for good.

When my son realised we had left he was so happy.

When my son realised we had left he was so happy. However, even when we were in the refuge the tantrums continued and he was very angry. We went to see a doctor and he explained that my son was traumatised by what had happened in the first eight years of his life and that it would take time. With support from Hestia’s family worker, Peta, I am now trying to rebuild the trust with my son. He still gets angry and will shout at me but I know now what I need to do to help him calm down. Peta has really helped us to get things sorted with my son’s school and with CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service). She helped organise a meeting with the school Headmaster so we could explain our situation and the school are very supportive now.

For me, the support from Hestia has been such a great help. It was hard to talk about things at first as I’m normally a very private person but Peta helped me to open up and express what’s going on.

Peta helps me to have the confidence to be firm with my son and set boundaries. I know what to do now when he has a meltdown, which isn’t always easy especially if it’s in public. I’m also having therapy to help me cope with what happened.

I’m already seeing a difference in my son – he’s much happier and loves being at school. He’s also making friends which is great. Because of everything that happened he missed about two months of school so it’s good to him so settled. When he is upset now, he will actually talk about it instead of bottling it all up.

For us, the refuge was a place of safety when we didn’t have anywhere to go.

For me, the support from Hestia has been such a great help. It was hard to talk about things at first as I’m normally a very private person but Peta helped me to open up and express what’s going on.

For us, the refuge was a place of safety when we didn’t have anywhere to go. Eventually, I hope my son will heal from all the trauma he has experienced. For now, we are working on establishing a good relationship and he knows that I will never leave him.

*Names and pictures changed to protect client anonymity. 

---

You might also be interested in...