Avani*, a business consultant at a multinational company found the Newham Together Café after her father and her best friend passed away. The fact that she could access the service immediately and that she could do so out of working hours has been a lifeline for her. 

---

In the summer of 2020, I lost a best friend of mine and within 2 years I also lost my Dad. After my father passed away I just crumbled, I went to India for 3 months for his funeral and to organise his affairs - it was an extremely emotional and stressful period of time. When I came back to the UK, I was trying to process everything that had happened and the best way to describe how I was feeling was as if I’d been hit by a train, I felt completely disorientated and numb.

“The kindness of the space put me at ease.”

I was unable to wake up, I was just sleeping the whole day. For a while, I tried to convince myself that it was jet lag or stress, but it continued and the minute my mind wasn’t occupied I went back to square one. My company was very accommodating during this period, and they slowly integrated me back into the workplace. I’m a business consultant for a multinational company and I deal with a lot of clients. It can be a fast-paced environment and because of this I have to remain very balanced and organised, I knew I needed help but the motivation to perform at work was also a contributing factor for me to seek it out. I didn’t know it at the time, but what I was experiencing was compounded grief and I was aware that if I didn’t deal this now then I would go on a downward spiral.

I initially tried to get support from a few local places, but there were long waiting lists. I was getting concerned that I may not be able to access the support I needed as quickly as I’d hoped. I found out about the Newham Together Café via a leaflet distributed by the borough, it had ended up in a large pile of post that had gathered on my doorstep while I’d been away – I was about to chuck it out! I called the service and they said to me that I didn’t need a referral nor did I need to wait – all I had to do was drop into the centre. They also made me aware that whilst they weren’t in a position to support me with the bereavement and psychological side of things, they could offer me emotional support. The fact that I was able to get immediate help was a lifeline to me, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to survive without it.

When I first came, I was a bag of emotions but the subtle kindness of the space put me at ease. I had one-to-one sessions with a member of the team and also an NHS clinician. Sitting down to talk about and revisit my past was extremely emotional, I initially didn’t want to go to that place but I knew it was necessary to deal with the problem. They let me know that they were ready to listen to me and to also be a first point of contact for me to reach out to. The groups here such as the mindfulness sessions have also been amazing, we focus on identifying dark spots in the mind and practice living for the moment which for someone like me who is struggling through grief and anxiety is extremely helpful. It also allows me to meet other people who have their own stories, and we tend to make friends and share our thoughts. It’s an absolute bonus that the service is open after hours, there’s no element of rush or panic about getting home from work.

This service gives me an element of hope, I know now that my day isn’t just going to consist of work – I have something to look forward to now. I felt empty, numb, and I completely forgot what it was to be happy or have fun but now I’m learning to appreciate the little things; I’m listening to music, I’m doing things I used to enjoy and I’m paying attention to myself. So, I’ve kind of felt there is a change, I might not notice it but others around me are, and those changes are happening because of the support network I have here at the Together Café.

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

---

This case study is based off of research conducted for our London Mental Health Index. You can read our report below:

Read report

Find out what support Hestia offers in your borough

Where we work